My story My life My pain

THe Truth of all things hurts the most.My dad died in may,23,2007 of a tumor in his gull bladder.I met him for the first time that i remember when i was 10 years of age.....I met him at the clallam county 4h fair in augest of 2006 i spotted him and at a jewel booth at which he gave me a a beautiful gemed jewelry box.After that i didnt see him again for awhile..... Later in the year i met him only because my mom had got a call saying that My real dad was dieing with a cancer and they didnt think he was going to live because it was stage 4 and it was undetected at first.My Father Tad Reese had refused to go to the hospital to be checked he also refused to do the kemo at first. Later after he had passed away 2 weeks after i had met him maybe longer he has passed.years later i feel true hatred for my mom because i feel as if i was not able to trust he i had felt as if she had kept me from him my whole.... life because she did not want to take the time to take me to him. I beleive it gave me a whole new perspective on my mom.I had felt true hatred for her and nobody knew why.but the more i thought about it i found a true reason why i really felt so much pain for my dad. more then my grandma wendy.....who was the closest thing i ever had.until today,I figured out that the only reason i feel pain for him is because i hadnt met him never until that yearI dont have those memory s that every other kid in the world has with there dad. I cant relate to anybody when they say there gonna go fishing with there dad or play ball anything like that.... i Just cant imagine with me.its to painful to even think about also.
But when my grandma died in july,10,2004 she Was my best friend is will remain to be for the rest of my life. She left me with no one to talk to or tell my storys too.it hurt bad when she died of a brain tumor (cancer yet again) It made me feel as if i had nothing left i was only in 1st grade? If made me feel good though cause i knew she of all people would want me to hang on to my memorys and just hold her close in my heart.I knew she wouldn't want me to be unhappy.....But with my dad i didn't. thats why it cause me so much more pain then my grandma because i dont know him i cant relate nor talk to him, i never knew him personally and never spent one on one time with him. I Wish i did though, THough i wouldnt change anything about the memorys i had with him.